3: The Golf Shop Job and Braving My Brain

Welcome: 00:00

Welcome to the Mt Nebo Leadership Podcast: Leaders Lift. I'm your host Greg Cunningham and I'm grateful to be a part of your leadership journey.

Intro

In today's bonus episode, I'll be trying something new from a format standpoint. Also, to make things simpler, I'll be changing my release schedule and frequency. Going forward it will be one episode a week releasing on Wednesday mornings. Simple. Straight forward.Would love to get your feedback on the changes.

In story time I'll share one of my favorite star trek stories and the lesson behind it. In the Seekers Segment I have a book recommendation for you. I'll be eliminating the shorts episodes so in each full episode I'll have a smaller topic. Today I will briefly talk about making decisions based on your long term goals. The main topic for today will be a walkthrough of some of the apsects of my personality style. The purpose is not for you to have a deep understanding of me, but more to give you a better idea of how you can analyze your own results and then how you can use the information to make adjustments and move further down the path on your own leadership journey.

Pre-Roll

Just a quick note before we dive in:

If you are interested in getting on our email list, go to www.mtneboconsulting.com/emaiI. It's free and you can unsubscribe at anytime. Generally it will be 1-2 emails a month as I'm committed to not spamming your inbox. Anyone that signs up for the email list will get a pdf list of my favorite books - professional and other.

Story Time: 01:51

Let's start off with a story. I'm a big star trek fan. I'm not going to get into the whole Star Wars vs. Star Trek debate because I enjoy some of both universes. I always seem drawn to the leaders in entertainment and in the case of Star Trek, it's Captain Picard that I find the most interesting.

In one episode he and Dr. Crusher were stuck on an planet together. I don't remember all of the details on his this happened but the two of them could hear each others thoughts. This caused all kinds of interesting issues but one seen has some great leadership lessons.

In this scene they were trying to figure out which direction to go. Picard confidently said we go this way. Crusher stopped and looked at him and basically called his bluff. He really had no idea what way they should go. But his response provides an opportunity to talk about old school leadership style vs. more modern and effective ones. His answer was essentially that no matter what, the Captain had to "know" what they were doing, or at least come across as knowing what they are doing.

I'm sure you have seen a lot of examples of this in your lives. It seems to be a key component to command and control - don't let those you lead see you hesitate or for that matter, don't show any of your weaknesses.

In our modern world, this is not the approach that I would take. I don't necessarily advocate making sure everyone knows everytime you are unsure or wearing every weakness on your sleeve. I do advocate being transparent with your team. If you are unsure about a decision, its generally ok to share that as long as you provide context for why you are unsure but also why are you are still moving forward with it. This conversation is also a good opportunity to allow them to share their opinions and get buy in.

As for sharing your weaknesses, I believe there is great power in those you lead understanding more about you and your style (that includes your strengths and weaknesses). This allows them to help support you as you continue to learn and grow and also helps create a safe space so that they also may be willing to share where they are struggling.

And that's todays story.

Seekers Segment: 04:13

Today a book recommendation called The Captain Class by Sam Walker. There are a few reasons I recommend this. Probably the biggest reason is that my son has read this book multiple times. Since it's sports oriented it really caught his attention. Another reason is that this is good for anyone looking to be a leader or in a leadership opportunity. That would include teenagers (my son was in his mid teens the first time he read it). One of the key takeaways from it is that it's not always the most talented or skilled member of the team that makes the biggest difference. It's interesting to see how often the captains of these fantastic teams were not the GOAT's but had a huge impact on the success of their team.

The lesson here is that you don't have to be the best on the team to have an impact and many times, those that aren't the best can have an even bigger impact.

Highly recommended.

The Golf Shop Job: 05:44

A couple of weeks ago I applied for a job that made most folks that know me raise their eyebrows. The job was Golf Shop Manager. So have the rest of you raised your eyebrows as well? Let me explain just a bit here.

I have spoken in a couple of episodes about how I'm trying to avoid going right back to an all consuming corporate job. To really make that happen, I'm trying to be flexible and versatile as I continue to focus on the podcast and my consulting business. Since one of the goals of any of this is to provide for my family, I'm exploring creative ways to do that but still focus on my highest goals. One of my ideas is that if I can find multiple income streams, I could pursue some of my passions.

When I saw the golf course job I thought it might be worth exploring. Here are the reasons I thought it was worth exploring:

• It offered benefits (I've always been told you work for our small city for the benefits, not the salary).

• The golf course is less than a mile from my house.

• It was a management role so I could continue to practice and hone my management skills.

• It would get me out of the house on a regular basis.

Here were some of my concerns:

• It was full time but it didn't talk about what full time meant.

• Would it allow me to continue to focus on the podcast and other services.

So I took the shot. In today's world of really crappy application and interviewing experiences, mine was actually really good. I wrote a creative cover letter and explained why even though I was both over (leadership and management) and under (haven't golfed in a few years) qualified, why I wanted to at least explore the opportunity.

I had a panel interview and it was just fine. The biggest thing that came out of it was that they were expecting 60 hours a week and it was definitely a 7 day a week kind of job. That was a downer.

A couple of days later, I actually got a personal call (not a cold HR email) from the golf pro explaining that they were going in another direction. I told him that was the right call and that it really wouldn't work with my bigger goals.

So a couple of lessons out of this:

First, there are still some organizations out there that are going to do a decent job in the application process. So if you have had some bad experiences, don't give up and look for those organizations that do so. Even if you don't get that first job, you might want to keep track of them.

Second, there is a lesson here for both professionals and those facing key decisions in their lives. The simple version of the lesson is that before you make any major decisions, know what your bigger or most important goals are and evaluate how the various options would impact those goals.

This is so important. Sometimes we see the very green field on the other side of a big decision that we need to make and that can be a huge distraction. It's like the analogy of not seeing the forest for the trees. If all you see is the tree or trees right in front of you, how do you know what else is out there to be discovered.

A lot of people just jump in and make these decisions and then find out after that it's really just a distraction and pulled them off the freeway they needed to stay on.

For me, I know that I want something other than a single all consuming job that makes it so I can't focus on anything else. Would the income of this job have been nice - sure. Would having great beneifts be a plus - absolutely. But here is where it would have come up short.

First, sixty hours a week during the summer is a big deal. It would take away from my ability to focus on the podcast and my consulting business. Even beyond that, and I have talked about this in the introvert vs. extrovert episode and will in the main topic of this episode, it could significantly impact my ability to recharge my batteries. The golf course is busy and I'd spend 40 hours or so in the club house handling the transactions. The shop is also pretty small so there is no where to escape. For an introvert, that's not the most energizing environment. In addition, the things I like to do for myself - camping and biking in particular - would take a significant hit since those are not things I can really do in the winter here in Utah. Those are just a coupe of examples of why this personally would have been tough.

Now, I want to be clear that I'm currently in a position where I don't have to take this job. If I didn't have other options and needed to take anything and everything I was offered, I would have approached this very differently.

Some of you may find yourself in a position where you don't feel like you have a choice but to take something that has short-term benefits and will at the least delay your longer term goals. That's ok. It does happen. But the message I would have for you is twofold - 1 - make sure you are being deliberate in the decision and not just jumping because it's easy and 2 - don't lose sight of those long term goals. I've done that before. Find a way, even with the huge but necessary distraction, to keep working towards those longer term goals. And always keep your eye out for the next step.

This doesn't just apply to professional opportunities. It also applies to life in general. The example of the way I recharge my batteries and not wanting to compromise that is more about my personal life than it is about work.

Think about your long term goals for you, your family, where you want to live, etc. Remember the lady at the call center that wanted to travel? Her decisions were all about not impacting but enabling what she wanted to do in her personal life. Do your best to not make decisions that compromise what is most important. It won't always work out, but if you keep this in mind, at least you will make deliberate decisions and be aware of the consequences of your decisions.

For me, if you want to see me at the golf course, it won't be in the club house and you are more likely to see me on my bike riding in the hills above it.

Mid Roll

If you are enjoying this episode, remember to subscribe (it's free) and share it with others in your circle. Reviews are also a great way to spread the word. If you want more leadership and personal development resources, be sure to visit my website at www.mtneboconsulting.com and while you are there, sign up for my email list.

Braving My Brain: 12:48

I've always joked around that you do not want to know what it's like inside my brain. Well, if you stick around to the end of this episode, you'll find out. If you are brave enough, let's get started.

What I Value Most Out of My Results

Let me just briefly share a few reasons why I value my results so much. First, it's information I would have a hard time getting any other way. While I don't always agree with the recommendations or observations that come out of the models (that’s fine), it's still information. Second is that there is a huge portion of the information that is almost immediately actionable. Just being aware of my default behaviors and potential strengths and pitfalls is a huge benefit. But the ability to then go in and build a simple action plan gives me the ability to deliberately determine the kind of leader and individual I want to be. Lastly, I can't even estimate how much I have used my own results to understand others and how to work with them, either in general or as a leader.

My Type Results

Now let's cover my high level results. The last time I took the assessment I was an ESFJ or an ESTJ. Why the two you might ask? ESFJ is my personal report and ESTJ is my workplace result. My take after going through the reports and knowing myself is that I'm more logical and objective in the workplace. Part of that is due the responsibilities I have had. Yes, my first goal was to help lift others but I had to balance that with the core objectives of the organization. In life in general, I'm more likely to focus on being sensitive to the needs of others and nurturing them (that happens a lot when you have little kids living in your home).

As for what the letters mean, E means Extrovert (I've discussed this quite a bit in the main epsiode on personality sytles and I'll cover it more in a bit), S means sensing (more practical vs. going on instinct alone), F for feeling or T for Thinking and J for judging. And before you think I'm a judgy person, hold that judgement until that section later in this episode.

As for the fun aspects, here are the celebrities and fictional characters my type (I'm going to use ISTJ as that's the result that comes up most often:

Darth Vader

Professor McGonagall

Spock

Thorin Oakenshield

Sean Connery

In addition to the letters, I have talked about how you need to know how close or extreme you are in various areas. My I/E has been consistently balanced for a long time. Depending on what's going on I only move about 5 points away from 50/50 and that's almost always to the I side. My most extreme is the J/P. I usually land somewhere in the 75/25 range. I don’t remember ever taking an assessment and having it be close. S/N is about 55/45. That one on occasion will switch to an N if I have been deep into something strategic for an extended period of time. The F/T is an interesting one for me. If I look at the last two sets of results, one was 50/50 and the other 61/39 in favor of the F. I'll talk about how I see this one later in the episode.

Let me give some additional context around each of the letters. Again, this is based on my results and how I have worked with them over a very long period of time.

Me as an introvert

I do agree with the introvert and extrovert tendencies being pretty balanced. One of the reasons comes out when you dive into some of the details in the report. Extroverts tend to be very expressive. Basically that means I default to making sure folks around me know when I have an opinion on something. This is something I know about myself and those that know me are just chuckling. In a recent assignment I made sure my team knew that I was working on being a better listener and letting others share their opinions before I jumped in. This was a deliberate effort over the course of about 18 months. I made a lot of phone calls and send a lot of slack messages after meetings apologizing for having done more than my fair share of speaking. I got better at it but it's something I have to deliberately work at.

This is also a good example of why I say that it can be very difficult to change some of these traits or attributes. It's not that you can't do it but it takes consistent sustained effort over time to learn how to mitigate these behaviors. Even then, you have to be aware that if you are stress out, it's probably still going to be your default behavior. I know if I head into a high stakes meeting and things aren't going well and I need them to, I'm going to have a very hard time not letting my expressive nature come clear to the front.

On the introvert side, it's not that I don't like being part of a team or being around people, but it is 100% about recharging my personal batteries. It's a mental and physical need that I have. Instead of working on this one, I have just learned how to manage it. Let me give you an example.

Because of the leadership roles I have had in my professional career, at church and at home, I've had to learn to adapt or wander around like a zombie. At my core, and when I'm stressed, exhausted or something else triggers my defaults, I find much more comfort in activities associated with being an introvert. I read, watch a tv show or movie (not at a theater) or find some other way to allow my brain to rest without worry about others. That's not really possible while you are active leading a team or other individuals (including family).

Here's an example that I think illustrates this.

Over the years I have attended a lot of seminars and conferences. Over that time, my approach to conferences has changed tremendously. I used to want to try and be in the middle of everything because I felt that is what I was expected to do. As I have changed my priorities and motivations over the years, I've learned how to manage conferences while still embracing my natural introvert tendencies.

A few years ago I was asked to attend and speak at a tech conference. I was the guest of our vendor and was participating in a panel, speaking in two additional sessions and had the obligatory meetings with various partners within the organization. It was a pretty full schedule and I don't know that I even had time to attend anything else except maybe a general session two. On top of that there were networking activities, the demo booths/room and I believe there was even a concert. From what I have told you about my introvert tendencies, how does that sound? I'll answer that. It doesn't sound great to me but it was important to me and both organizations and I was committed to doing what needed to be done. But I also knew that I would need time to recharge.

So how did I manage it - I met with our account exec and his peers in the hotel lobby for just a bit. And when they all headed off to the social activity, I grabbed food and went back to my hotel room. A book and my ipad and I was good.

Day 2 consisted of the general session and then all three of my speaking assignments. By the time they pulled me off stage in the middle of one assignment to speak in another, I was done. I still remember my host asking if I wanted to go to dinner later and then his face when I said I'd be happy to go right thing (it was like 4pm) if we went somewhere close. I think he was surprised. He was absolutely an extrovert and that's probably why he was good as an account exec and I would never want that job. But he was great and we went across the street, had a great meal and then went our separate ways. Him to additional activities and me back to the hotel room for a repeat of the reading, ipad, etc.

I don't remember a whole lot of day three other than some strategic meetings. I believe the concert and other activities were that day as well. I had no plans on attending and that was just fine.

I know a lot of folks love the social aspects of these conferences, but I just get more drained. If I manage my energy like I did above, I can get through three days. If I don't, I'll be a zombie early on day 2.

I mentioned in the short episode on introvert vs. extrovert that my wife and I are opposites. We learned to work through this and give each other the kind of recharge time we needed. One way we did this when our families were young and we lived close to extended family was to agree to divide and conquer. What I mean by that is that my wife would take the kids to her parents house where there was almost always an extremely large number of people. She got plenty of help with the kids and was able to be around all of her siblings and other family members. Plus then the grandparents got to see the kids. I would stay home and find other things to do. She recharged by being around family and I recharged by getting some quite time.

This exact approach may not work for everyone but the lesson to take from this is that if you and your spouse understand each others needs, even if it is just in this one area, then you can work together to ensure that both of you get to recharge your batteries.

Sensing

I won't spend a ton of time talking about sensing vs. intuition. Most often I ended up defaulting to sensing. That's more about being detail oriented, working with facts and using my previous experiences. Intuition would be more about going with a gut instinct or working more with ideas and concepts. I do go by gut instinct but more often than not, I do so related to people. I've gotten pretty good at reading people. That is really a combination of what I observe of others and then using my instinct (based on previous experience) to draw conclusions.

The other way this really comes out with me is when it comes to problem solving. I much prefer to take solution a and solution b and create new solution c vs. starting with a completely blank piece of paper. Hand me the blank paper and I can probably still get somewhere but it will take much longer and way more energy than if I can look at how someone has handled a similar problem or situation and can tweak it to meet the current needs.

T/F

This area is where the concept of having a default behavior really comes out. I personally believe that my default is a T, which means I'm more logical and objective. If I'm under any significant stress that is where I'm going to go almost immediately. My family will probably say "yep". Hubby, Dad and Papa can be loads of fun, sensitive and compassionate. But if things go south, he is not nearly as fun and more likely to take the rules are the rules approach. So if I take the assessment during a time of stress, it will for sure come up T. If I take in during a low stress time, it will be much more of an F.

This is also the one area that I have made a personal focus to be more balanced. I want to be the kind of person that can be appropriately compassionate in all circumstance yet still be objective and logical. In all my leadership opportunities, I think this balance is key. If I’m too soft on my kids they end of falling into the entitlement trap that is so prevalent today. If I'm too tough on them, it creates resentment. If I'm balanced then we can work together on their personal journeys.

In the business world I think this is one of the keys to helping those you lead find success elsewhere. If they aren't going be successful then you have to be objective enough to help them understand that and yet you need to understand the impact that this situation is going to have on them. That's where the right amount of compassion is essential. You may have to help them move on for the good of the organization and them. But there is a right way to do it.

Not to get off on a tangent, but if you have paid attention to how the layoffs are being handled nowadays, you might realize that way too many folks that are in the extreme T range are determining how the layoffs are handled. Cutting off access in the middle of the night, notifying folks that their position is eliminated via email only - those are just a couple of examples that may make logical sense (it has to be done, less liability, etc) but completely ignore the fact that human beings have feelings. It's just sad.

Judging

Finally, my most extreme - judging vs. perceptive. I told you to reserve judgement on my J so let me explain what it is. Those that judge are about making a plan and sticking to it, setting goals, following rules and setting clear expectations. Those with a high P are more go with the flow types. Totally makes sense that I'm a J. I go through multiple revisions of a plan vs. just going by the seat of my pants. When I go on my bike rides, my family knows exactly where I'm going (that's a good safety habit anyway).

Here is another example: I love to camp. When we go on trips, I plan out when we are going, what route we are taking, what bike rides I want to do on each day, etc. I think the only concession I have made is that we no longer plan our meals. We just load up the kinds of things we like to eat and then decide when we go to cook. By contrast, I know lot's of individuals that will head out on a road trip and just drive until they are tired and then find a place to stay or sleep. I couldn't do that. When we used to drive from Texas back home to Utah, I knew the route I was taking, where we were stopping to eat and where we were stopping for gas. None of this go with the flow stuff.

This is another area where my wife and I are different. She is not quite as extreme but she can definitely be the go with the flow type. I think she likes to know where we are headed but the details are just not that big of a deal to her. Sometimes I envy her ability to flow with the changes that drive me nuts.

Insights about My Various Styles

For the next minute or two I thought I'd give you some insights I got on my various styles. Again, these are examples of the kinds of things you will be able to get out of your own assessment.

Leadership Style: communicate clear guidelines and schedules and fostering open communication are the two that stand out for me.

Communication Style: Focus on accomplishing goals and providing support as well as anticipating the needs of others resonate with me. Engaging socially is one that is listed but I don't really agree with it. I can do a limited amount of socializing but it's usually as part of other activities (team meetings for example) versus specific social activities.

Relationship Style: look to assist others in practical ways and sharing personal values are the ones I see the most in me.

At Work Style: the first one listed is friendly and collaborative. I agree with collaborative but have to be conscious of being too expressive (mentioned above) when collaborating. The ideal roles listed are practical helper, enthusiastic organizer and engaging leader. Those all sound right. That also tells me that if I am leading a team that doesn't really need me (no problems to solve for whatever reason), I’m going to struggle.

Areas of Excellence vs. Pitfalls

One of the sections I pay attention to is what is essentially what is the strengths and weaknesses section. For my personal strengths, they list four and I agree with two of them while I'm not as sure about the others. Or at least the others might depend on what is going on at the time. The two I agree with are consistency and helpfulness. I see consistency as being reliable as well as you know what you get with me. For better or for worse, I believe that is the case.

Now the other side of this is the potential pitfalls. First, avoiding roles that require high degrees of innovation and discovery. I mentioned this above when I talked about starting with a blank page. Those situations are certainly a potential issue. I also know based on this whole report that I'm not likley to thrive in an environment that is already high performing. The helpful strength above could easily get suppressed in such an environment and with very few problems to solve, how would I really make a difference. So anytime I'm exploring an opportunity I have to probe to understand if the expectation is to keep the lights on or to transform.

The other pitfall I would mention is that at work my first inclination is not to be warm and fuzzy. Some of this comes from my call center days and other is a reaction to the sense of entitlement that is so pervasive in the world today. My default attitude in the work place is more you do what you are supposed to and you get a paycheck vs. unlimited pats on the back. Now, that being said, there is absolutely a place for back patting in the workplace. Because I know this about myself I can work to mitigate it.

One thing I do on any team I lead is make sure that someone else is very into all the warm and fuzzy stuff and is willing to keep pushing me in that direction. On a management team, someone always needs to be the one responsible for the celebrations, parties, etc. The second thing I have done is use what I call a personnel sheet. This is a simple document I use when I'm managing multiple teams. It's a simple spreadsheet that has info about the associate. The managers and I review them regularly. When used correctly, it gives me small pieces of information I can use to help the individuals feel like more than just an employee. For example, on this sheet would be anything of significance about their personal life. If a kid has a sports tournament over the weekend, it could go into the sheet and when I see them the next week, I can ask them how it went. This doesn't mean I have to know everything about each individual, especially in a large organization. But it does make a difference to have the leader make an effort like this. I don't do it naturally so I have to mitigate it through others and through tools.

Other Ways I have Used This Info

The last thing I want to cover today is how this kind of information makes a difference to more than just you. Almost all of the examples I used above will impact other people. It is so important that you take this information and understand how it impacts you. But taking it to the next level has two parts. First, once you get good at understanding these concepts you can start to understand others better. Nothing is a substitute for an assessment but most people you interact with are not going to hand you their report to read. So what you can do is take what you know about yourself and start seeing similarities or difference in others. That will change how you interact with them. And then the final step is taking what you know about yourself and those most important to you and making a plan to enhance those relationships. This is what my wife and I have had to do regularly and it has made a huge difference.

Wrap Up: 30:36

I think that's probably more than enough information. You should have a little better insight into who I am as a leader. Most importantly, I hope this helps you understand why this is such an important topic and how you too could get to know yourself just a bit better and then use that information to improve as a leader, move forward on your journey, and more successfully lift others. And probably most importantly, this is something that can help you build better relationships in all aspects of your life.

Post Roll

That's it for today. If you want to be notified of future episodes, hit the subscribe or follow button or follow ldrslft on instragram. You can also visit our website for more great content and resources to help you on your leadership journey.

Check out the show notes for all the relevant links and takeaways from this episode.

Thank you again for tuning in. Now go out there and keep lifting.